如何从家暴的情感创伤中恢复

我最近被虐待了，这种感觉从未有过。我责怪自己，我整天把自己锁在房间里。我们已经分开了，他向警察发誓再也不接近我了。我仍然很害怕，我与所有人、所有事都失去了联系，但我试着继续下去。这篇文章真的很有用。

我17岁了，我一直受到爸爸的暴力，威胁说要打断我的骨头，拳打脚踢。是的，他确实推了我一次，直到我的嘴唇流血，还好我没有掉牙。他会因为一些微不足道的原因生气，还会侮辱我、我妹妹和妈妈。我讨厌我的生活。我感觉很糟糕。半小时前，我刚刚协助一个新的暴力现场。我睡不着?我的情感被摧毁了

我男朋友虐待我，试图杀了我，我们有两个孩子，一个2岁，一个4岁，在一起6年了，他打我已经有一年了，我们经常争吵…我总是害怕他会伤害我，所以我跑出去很多次，我睡在我的车里，我找不到我的孩子，我总是把我需要的一切都放在车里。当他告诉我我的车很乱时，我总是有借口，所以我没有带尿布和衣服，很多次他都带出来了，所以温，我需要善意地去拿东西……我的观点是，我总是害怕他伤害我，他说过他会杀了我，或者把我的脸毁容了很多次，他只说了一点点思考，我的第一直觉是跑出去，这甚至不是一个争论，但我无法控制，我需要跑，因为他找到了我。我能做些什么来停止这种感觉并变得快乐呢?请帮助

这是一个非常有用的帖子，我有一个朋友正在经历这个问题，我推荐了这个帖子给她看。我相信这会在事情失控之前帮到她。

有人能回答这个问题吗?为什么人们总是陷入一段感情和友谊，然后变成虐待?我摆脱了一段虐待性的婚姻(欺骗、撒谎、经济虐待)。我甚至不能说话。现在我开始和我儿子还有迪尔合住了。她在情感上和言语上都是如此的辱骂和操纵，这让我非常焦虑和害怕，我已经有了焦虑症。

我和虐待我的前男友在一起两年了，我仍然觉得很糟糕，我觉得我永远都不会恢复了。他会不断地操纵和控制我，他会控制我，我的钱，我穿什么，我和谁说话，我去哪里，他甚至禁止我去某些地方，我完全把自己孤立起来，把自己锁在房间里，我抑郁得难以置信，患上了严重的焦虑症。他会告诉我该穿什么不该穿什么，他总是贬低我，对我和我的外表说刻薄、恶毒的话，比如我和他在一起的时候从来没有努力过，但当我和他不在一起的时候，我却把自己打扮得漂漂漂的，而事实并非如此，或者我的皮肤很糟糕，或者我看起来像个渣。他总是阻止我和我的朋友出去玩，他会在我准备的时候引起巨大的争论，每次都让我流泪，所以大多数时候我不会出去，或者如果我很少出去，我就永远无法享受这个夜晚，我会一直焦虑，非常担心我从他那里得到了什么。他从我身上拿走了数千英镑(当时我是一名大学生，所以他真的拿走了我所有的东西，我在大学里挂了一年，因为我不愿意上大学，因为我太焦虑了，我知道我的“朋友”一直在八卦和抱怨我)我将靠意大利面和意大利面生活，因为我买不起任何东西。当时我的很多朋友都没有时间陪我，因为我会把自己孤立起来，没有人可以求助。他会威胁我的朋友和家人,我总是告诉自己,只要我可以处理他,只要我把一切都那么没人会受伤或者知道他是什么样的,我很惭愧,我是这样对待但是没有逃避问我或消极或试图结束它他就不会,他会出现在我的房子还是永远不会让我逃脱。他对我也很暴力，有一次他拉着我的头把我拖到他家附近的小巷里，一定是有人听到了我的尖叫，报了警，警察就出现在他家，我不得不对一切都撒谎，我知道警察不相信我，但他们能做什么呢?我不被允许和任何男孩或他不认识的人说话，他会以为我手机上的那些他不认识的女孩实际上是男孩，但我把她们当女孩救了下来，显然是一种内疚。他可以做任何他想做的事，我从来没有被允许去找他，他会在晚上出去，不告诉我，即使他告诉我，我永远不会呻吟，当时我不知道他背叛了我，他甚至和我的一个朋友睡觉，她完全否认，但我现在知道事实确实如此。 He made sex feel like a chore, I hated it I used to lie about being on my period and sometimes I'd say I don't want to but he would manipulate me so much and make me feel so bad and so wrong for not wanting to he always got this way. I look back on it now and can't understand how I let it happen even typing it now I just dont understand and how much of my life I've wasted as a year on and I still can't get over it, every single day without fail everything runs through my head over and over, anytime a story line on TV relates to something he put me through I can't control my emotions. I have never ever spoke to anyone about how bad things were with him and I would never tell anyone I know about it all i'm still too ashamed and confused and embarrassed and hurt to tell anyone but I can't get over it and I just want to forget about everything so so bad but I don't know how I haven't even been with anyone since him I haven't even put any photo's up on social media since him because I just remember the things he would say when he would criticise me and I just think I look disgusting in all my photos. I just want to go back to my life before I ever met him I used to be so happy and so bubbly I used to have so many friends and had so much confidence but I don't know how and don't know if I ever can get back to my old self, I don't know if I can get over it all.

我刚刚结束了一段情感虐待的关系，和一个性操纵的女人。我们在一起快9年了，我和她一起生活了8年。起初，她崇拜我走过的土地。她在性方面非常顺从，这让我和我的性欲都受到了威胁。她和前男友有个孩子，从她和他的关系到我见到她的时候，她经常告诉我她和多少男人在一起，还有她的同事朋友。我现在觉得很愚蠢，我没有看到迹象，但她对我很好，我很享受，并希望继续一段时间。她突然发了脾气，说她怀孕了，我本来打算搬出去的。所以我留下来了，因为我想抚养我的孩子。在我们交往的过程中，她会在她前男友的家人、我的家人和她的家人面前羞辱我。她一有机会就会让我嫉妒。 She got pregnant again. and just 5 months ago she got pregnant again. She was lying to me about when she would finish work, bought sex toys at christmas ahich were not for me, i was devasted on christmas day. she used to stave me of affection, sex, comapssion, loyalty, companionship and self worth. She is and has been pushing all the buttons on my heart, now that i have left her she is using the pregnancy against me as she is leaving sublte hints that she is seeing someone else, while bearing my child in her wombe. She is utterly toxic.
现在我知道大多数人会怎么想，为什么在上帝的名义你曾经参与，但这是一个缓慢的过程，我从来没有经历过这样的事情。毫无疑问，我很天真，但这对我的好本性是一种逐渐的攻击，现在我患有创伤后应激障碍和恐慌症。
虽然我已经离开了她，但我并没有从她那里解脱出来，因为在探视过渡和安排之间，她仍然在虐待我。
她的信件是由第三方写的，很可能是她的新受害者，完全没有人情面，而且非常傲慢。我有一份好工作，所以孩子的抚养不是问题。我打算在未出生的孩子出生时进行DNA测试。
我正在使用所有关于压力管理的建议，并正在安排新的住所。
我会一点一点地重建我的生活，但一想到她在未来几年里会变得残酷和操纵我，我就焦虑不安。
感谢阅读。

我和一个虐待我的男朋友断断续续交往了六年。最后，这段关系结束了，因为他试图让我承诺。他是个惯于作弊的人。他背着我和无数女人乱搞。我失去了所有的女朋友，因为她们都有外遇。作为我们的最后一次努力，他邀请我和他一起搬到纽约，一起住。我去了不到一个星期，就发现他和他的同事有外遇。我试着离开他。有天晚上我们大吵了一架，他报了警，说我想自杀。他是临床心理学家，毕业于新学院。 He knew that if he told the police I was suicidal, they would have to arrest me and take me in for evaluation because suicide is illegal in most states. He did that. They took me in. They kept me in a holding facility in a mental hospital in Harlem for 17hrs. I got out because I said, "I have to be at work on Monday" as they were trying to have me moved from the holding facility to their in-patient program upstairs. I got out. I never spoke to him again. That was over four years ago. After it happened I couldn't stay indoors. I had a fear of being inside. I became a long-distance runner. I started dating someone else that was very large and intimidating and angry. Someone that claimed he would protect me against anyone that would do what the first guy did, but who ultimately ended up being just as abusive in a different way. I can no longer run. I still mourn the loss of myself and of my freedom. I'm not over it. I don't know if I will ever be over it. Every time I tell someone what happened they think that I'm crazy instead of seeing this man as dangerous. He's moved back to my hometown with a new girlfriend. She doesn't know what a monster he is. Friends that I thought were friends have stopped speaking to me or answering my text messages because they want to be his friend instead. It's very sad. I've lost everyone.

我刚刚结束了一段虐待我的关系，我的前男友和我分手了，他说一切都是我的错，他把他的糟糕成绩归咎于我，说他在学校不能专心学习都是因为我。他告诉我他要和我的一个朋友做爱，当我质问他时，他很生气。我只是觉得一切都是我的错就像他希望的那样，他永远都不会让我在我的朋友和生气当我跟他们或者让他从我的谈话内容,他甚至会生气当我不想让他看到或读到的短信,他把他的指纹到我的iPhone我现在他似乎他甚至不关心我当我关心他我不知道该怎么办,他很性向我,我告诉他不要做的事情。

我和施虐者结婚45年了。我永远无法逃避，完全沮丧。他认为自己是受害者。他认为，因为他不再虐待我，所以没关系，但精神虐待是可怕的，我的身体被困住了。我快要崩溃了

我通常不这么做……但我知道我需要这样做，才能放下这种被指责的感觉，恐惧、伤害、愤怒、怨恨，但主要是失望。我的前男友，我们分手后我还能看到他，我想在这段时间里，我们试图修复和修复关系，然后他打了我，他打了我，在我面前公开羞辱我，和其他女孩调情，他仍然希望我回家和他睡觉，我回答说不……我绝对不会允许一个男人在不尊重我之后就碰我……在回家的路上，他先辱骂我。言语导致肢体冲突。第二天，我去了警察局，提出了一个案件，但放弃了逮捕，因为我担心这会影响他的职业生涯……几天后，我发现自己在质疑那个行为，我发现自己在质疑一切……我很害怕独处，我知道安静的时候想起他，想到我被他伤害……所有这些都会涌来。我忍受过很多糟糕的关系，但不是这样的……不像这样…我可以回去打开这个案子，他甚至连一个协议都不能遵守，不能支付我的医疗费用…他不后悔……我该怎么办?我不是那种破坏别人生活的人但正义在哪里?

我上大学的时候很紧张，因为全国范围内的校园性侵事件曝光太多了。甚至一个朋友的朋友在她的大学里差点被性侵犯，有人看到了她，幸运地介入了。知道一些个人防御的动作提高了我的信心，随身携带防狼喷雾以防万一。我买了一个防御装置，现在感觉安全多了。

在这里写字感觉怪怪的……但我想是发泄的时候了。我和前男友在一起，三年半了。这是一段非常虐待性的关系。我失去了朋友，与所有人隔绝，我失去了自我，失去了自信，失去了一切，我只能假惺惺地微笑着度过每一个痛苦的日子。一年半后，我终于搬了两次家，并在大学安定下来，我遇到了一个最了不起的家伙，他帮了我很多忙，在新朋友的帮助下，我开始重拾自信。我可能会很开心。但当我一个人的时候，尤其是在晚上(因为他跟踪我，他的家人跟踪我和“我们的”朋友)，我仍然很难入睡……我经常做噩梦，但不像以前那么糟糕，因为我向我的伴侣和一个亲密的朋友吐露了我的秘密，我的伴侣不在时，我很挣扎。我不想与之抗争。 I want to keep rising up and enjoy university and new relationship instead of staying in and hiding these emotions. My friend suggested I vented... so here we go i guess..I feel like Il never have a day to myself where I don't think about the past.. even though my present is quite good..I wish Id grown a back bone a long time ago..

我离开虐待我的丈夫已经8年了。我们在一起14年了。我再婚了，我的新丈夫在我不期望的时候碰我，这让我感到困扰。它给我们带来了问题。有什么建议可以克服吗?

虐待我的人不是我的伴侣，事实上我已经单身16年了。我不可能有信心去认识一个人。虐待我的人是我酗酒的妈妈，患有精神分裂症的哥哥和患有未确诊精神疾病的妹妹，她现在是最糟糕的。妈妈最近去世了，所以没有虐待。妹妹，我也很善良，永远支持她，是如此偏执和可怕。我一直装模作样，怕她发疯。这周我又被虐待了，我陷入了抑郁，花了几句话来克服它。她打压我，是个控制欲极强的愤怒人类。我原谅她是因为她无依无靠。她虐待了所有她能虐待的人，朋友和家人。 She has ruined our rships with relatives. I can't so it anymore I'm getting older and she's a lot younger. I need to build up my confidence. I hide away and eat.

的帮助!

我正在和虐待我的人离婚，现在我不得不在法庭上重温这一切。他的谎言，还有他律师的谎言都快把我搞垮了。有时我真希望我不再活着。我经常感到很沮丧。没有人真正关心，当然法院系统也不关心。这是一个我再也不想去的马戏团

我被这些评论惊呆了。我从2月份就开始和热线电话交谈，在这种虐待关系中已经有5年半了。我一直在想我可以离开，但总有什么东西让我留在那里。上个星期，他发现我在找地方住，他很生气。如果我有什么不开心的事，他就会不断提起，他会替我想想，好像我伤他太深了一样。他告诉我，他不在乎我去不去，只在乎我把狗从他身边夺走，他很生气。让我觉得自己不如一只狗。这对他来说很平常……狗受到的待遇比我好，而且它真的很疼。我一直在努力找回自尊，但别以为我知道怎么做。 I am seeing a counselor this Friday to finally talk to someone that can help me. I have been too afraid to tell my own family, which now I understand is a form of the isolation that they pull us into. I have told a variety of friends, and only a few understand and are sticking with me until I can make a move. I feel so confused and hurt all the time, and the depression has hit hard. I feel like my head is always in a fog and I cannot even have feelings at this point. When I am away from him, and at work, I feel like my confidence comes back and I remember that I CAN survive and make it without him, but then the feeling fades and I cannot imagine leaving him after investing 5 1/2 years into this. I know the abuse is only going to get worse, especially now that he knows I was making plans to get out of it. But what is holding me here still?? I am so glad I found this site and can use it to gain strength and encouragement that I CAN SURVIVE TOO! one day..

我刚离开虐待我的人两年了。我不敢相信，读完上面所有的帖子，我意识到我绝对是虐待的受害者。我从没想过我会落得这样的下场。在认识他3个月后，当他踢我的时候，我应该意识到有些事情不太对。我是一个聪明的女性，有一份高调的工作!然而，我让这只动物把我变成了今天的我，害怕，回头看，感觉我不能给我的儿子打电话，也不能和我的孙子说话。
我生命中重要的每一个人每一件事他都试图背叛我。像其他人一样，他会对我说一些难听的话，并一直指责我调情。我最后只好低着头走来走去，以免引起别人的注意，因为我害怕受到指责。
仔细想想，每一个节日和家庭聚会都被他和他的嫉妒给毁了。他拽着我的头发在卧室地板上拖来拖去，还威胁说要把我的鞋塞进我的脑袋里。我当时就该走了。但我留下来原谅了他。然后他在车里狠狠地踩刹车把我向前推。指责我和我生病的儿子睡觉
他把我从车里扔到约克郡的山谷里，把我所有的衣服都扔出窗外，扔下楼梯，砸了很多东西。他把给我买的东西都拿回来了
我最终控制了他的行为来保护自己!这让我的感情枯竭。你总是如履薄冰，说话小心翼翼，以免惹他生气。他甚至在我睡觉的时候拿走了我的手机，下载了我所有的旧信息，然后在我回复的时候把我囚禁起来，
他看旧照片，然后骂我，那是在我认识他之前。
度假时，他把我拖过泳池区，把我扔到别人身上。他要求在飞机上离开我，然后留下我一个人去度假目的地。
我没有做错任何事，也不明白自己为什么会受到这样的对待。他向我道歉，并给我假期、衣服和钱，让我感觉好点。这些都不重要，我意识到做自己和拥有基本的人权才是最重要的。我已经不知道自己是谁了，我渴望见到他之前的自己。在这一切发生的时候，我还在努力攻读硕士学位，并保住一份全职工作。
我要挂掉我的硕士了，这是他的错，我在工作中遇到了麻烦，因为他的指责，我不得不带他去参加工作会议。我最终受到了惩罚，我想，天哪!因为他，我快要失业了。
我已经离开一个星期了，他日夜不停地给我发短信。早上的宝贝，晚上的宝贝，选择。你想去度假等等等等。我无法正常呼吸，我质疑我所做的每一个人，我被孤立，需要重新找回自我。我看着自己在遇到他之前的照片，我不知道照片里的那个人是谁了，我的家人和同事都说我变了。他们不再了解我了，他把我和我曾经喜欢的一切隔离开来，音乐、健身、外出。
然而，在阅读了所有的帖子后，值得注意的是…我不会回去的!我需要找到自我，但我知道恢复的过程会很缓慢!
我的一个同事曾经说过“有一天你会醒来，然后想，我到底是怎么来到这里的”她是对的，祝大家好运，坚强点我们不应该被这样对待

非常害怕，8周前离开了他，9年后，我害怕，颤抖，哭泣，孤独，他发现我尽他最大的努力让我回来，我叫了5次警察
他一直给我打电话发短信为什么我一个人这么恐慌?我害怕每一次敲门声或电话都让我吓一跳
我睡不着，我害怕出去，我联系了一个妇女援助，他们告诉我阻止他，不让他进来，没有联系，为什么我这么弱，我向他屈服了
他说我需要他，不能独自应付，我吓得僵硬，如果没有人被所有的虐待吓到，我还会觉得正常吗?

我刚刚离开了我的伴侣。我对一切都感到困惑。他刚被警察带走了。我告诉他我要走了，然后他开始告诉我他可以带什么朋友来。他酗酒，情绪波动很大。我会说一句话，如果他心情不好，就会从直接说话变成对着我大喊大叫。哦，我有没有提过我们有两个孩子，他甚至不能告诉警察他们的生日。他在我们的页面上翻看他们的出生日期，我不得不告诉他们日期。讽刺的是，其中一天恰好是警察的生日。我受够了虐待。 I was stupid enough to get pregnant to the guy straight away which he initiated. When i fell pregnant he started to control me. Didnt want me to stay out late, which i needed to because of study. Started to talk aggressively. And it started with pushes. Then hed hit me in places that are unseen but the most painful. Eg hed hit me in the back of the head squeeze my jaw, strangle me, pull my hair back so my neck would click, etc. He kept putting me down saying im a whore and started the brainwashing. He didnt like to see me happy and hated my family. Always had an excuse when it came to family occasions and when he did come hed be really awkward and not want to participate. That goes with the kids sporting events also. He made it hard for me to feel comfortable in those environments. You would think hed be happy to see his kids doing things. But when came to his friends he was the happiest man alive. Came to the point where hed bring his friends over for a drink two or three days a week after work. He was a couch potatoe and rarely did anything in the house except cook because thats the only thing i could cintrom with the man. His hunger. He always said i did nothing when im studying horticulture which involves physical labour. I come home and get no credit for doing all the housework. He crashed our car with the kids in it. They ended up in hospital my youngest has a large scar on his forehead and the other had a face twice the size. He lost the keys to our current car so im left without a vehice. Hes behind in rent and power. Everythings under my name except the sky he had a scowel when i told the man it will be his. Oh and his family comes every christmas and visits leaving with all our valuables. I told him not to take the classic dvds. The only dvds missing were the classics. He does things deliberately to make me weaker. It came to the point where i would look at him and my head would go into a negative rampage... to the point where i have to cut it. Just stop. He goes and it stops. His presence is very gloomy. The most recent scenario that opened my eyes was when he was lounging on the couch with the t.v right up loud as usual and then he starts putting me down. I telm him his behaviour is unacceptable and that only fueled the fire because once its lit with him,one word anything will set him off. So he drages me to the door. I sit down i have the right to watch t.v he tells me to go and look after the kids spend time with them. He doesnt even give them the time of day the lazy father. I come back in and he throws the pillow hard and didnt stop. So i sit and watch lie in the couch and cry and watch t.v. Something set him off again and he comes up and squeezes my face i already have serious jaw problems. He does it twice, not three times because my legs are there fending him off. He didnt hurt me so i have a feeling he wanted to make sure i was hurt. I told him why doesnt he pick on someone his own size like those people that are bothering him at work. He told me because they are not my wife. Noone can see what i do here to you. Thats when i knew he was a monster. I called the cops and used the protection order that i should have. I shouldnt have to leave my house. Im still struggling to keep the negative out. I mean i know its early days and the emotional damage and physical damage to my head is really intense. Its a longterm injury. It helps when im positive and dont think about it. Stop myself from thinking negative. But i think its going to take a long time to remove all the crap inside there. I just hope its physically possible. Anyway i can already feel the freedom. Oh yeah isolation n all that yeah thats me. So nice to hear im not crazy and alone in this.

你好。
我最近决定结束和伴侣的恶性循环。我还在应付。这并没有帮助问题，我在一个孤立的工作，我刚刚发现我将在2周内被解雇。很多精神虐待和身体上的虐待，还有太多的煤气灯，我都数不清了。当我们不得不搬到世界不同的地方工作以重新建立我们的收入时，事情到了紧要关头。她指责我对她不忠，而我没有。在她的感情中反复无常。让我觉得好像完全是我的错。在这件事上我有我自己的角色，我觉得被困住了，我不想日复一日地对抗。但这已经太多了。威胁，有一天我们还好，然后就开始走下坡路，3到4天后又一次尖叫，更多的报复威胁，她基本上说一切都是我的错。 Im just trying to cope with this situation and struggling at times. I just feel numb due to some of this situation. I would live some advice someone in my situation can do to cope with this, since my enviornment here for its resourcs, isolation and also a language barrier.
谢谢收听

我和一个在言语和情感上虐待我的男人结婚了4年。我花了3年时间才意识到这是虐待。几个月前，我终于鼓起勇气离开他，但他在短短几年里造成的伤害仍在显现。我讨厌和他结婚后的自己，我的行为方式是我从未有过的，因为我再也无法忍受了。我一连几个小时背对着卧室门坐在地板上，而他在门的另一边不停地对我发火。最后，我在汽车的后备箱里放了一个过夜包，以备我不得不逃到旅馆过夜的时候用。一天晚上，我被送进了医院，头上钉了4个钉子，肩膀也受伤了，这让我每天都想起他所做的一切，因为我每天都在痛苦中。虐待改变了我，有时我觉得自己又变回了以前的自己，但很快就被他对我说过的话的记忆摧毁了。我他妈是个婊子，是个纳粹，是个找老婆的蹩脚借口，我自私，报复心强，恶意，我只关心我自己。我的一些最亲密的朋友，在我认识他之前已经认识了很多年，他们不明白这一点。 They welcome him to Bible study groups while I'm left on the outside because he only shows to them Dr Jekyl, never Mr. Hyde. I'm so very weary of this, he has literally destroyed my life. I desperately miss who I was before I met him. Tonight it all got too much and I attacked myself, punching, slapping and hitting myself in the face because I am so stupid to have kept trying with him. My life is in a million pieces on the floor and I have no idea how to pick them up or how to start putting them back together again. Tonight it feels like he has won.

谢谢你的分享。尽管我接受过心理治疗，但我和虐待我的前男友有一个孩子;还有旅程
从他所造成的痛苦和伤害中解脱;有些日子似乎不太可能。我开始理解并接受这个体系在处理虐待型自恋者时是多么的无能。虽然存在虐待框架，但真正有意义的支持和改变并不现实。施虐的男人会逃避他们的否认。谎言。和妄想。
然而。读了这篇文章后，我意识到我已经走了多远。我在第二阶段和第三阶段之间。
我还意识到，作为父母，我必须教我的孩子变得坚强和有弹性，以管理这种性格。他开始有辱骂我儿子的迹象。
我开始意识到，社会制度和结构在阻止和治愈人类的这种断裂方面是多么脆弱……你每天做的让自己坚强的小事…站起来，拥有一段经历，并用它来帮助别人，即使是在很小的方面，也会有所不同……
你无法治愈那些病入膏肓，不得不伤害他人的人。但作为妇女和母亲，我们有能力让新一代的孩子远离这种祸害。让我们的孩子学会去爱。
我曾经读到过，你永远不会意识到自己有多强大，直到你原谅了一个没有道歉的人，接受了一个你从未收到的道歉。
不止每天爱自己，让我的生活更美好更美好。我教导我的儿子要爱自己，永远不要让不尊重他的人破坏或摧毁他的本质。
让自恋的虐待狂男人窒息的唯一方法就是强大、自信和成功。

在经历了几个月可怕的情感虐待后，愤怒发作，在我哭的时候被吐了一口唾沫，他假装在我面前拉小提琴，在5-10个小时的吼叫后，我被逼承认这都是我的错，我在情感上忽视了他，我的基本人权，我的自由……一个人去见朋友，想一个人在海滩上散步呼吸新鲜空气，一个人去超市
我被剥夺了所有这些基本权利，更不用说我的手机和车钥匙了
我的心都碎了，因为我真的爱他
但在几个月的时间里，我可能相信我是所有这些东西，感到害怕和尴尬，我终于意识到我不应该受到这样的对待，他实际上对我非常非常讨厌，他讨厌我是谁，他不想让我是我或有一个身份，他想成为我的国王，他根本不在乎我是谁，所以M先生!该死的，你对我如此恶劣，而我只是向你表达了爱，该死的，你试图改变我快乐善良的精神，该死的!今天早上我要申请保护令，我再也不会让你扰乱我的头脑和生活了

我结婚18年的丈夫几年前变得难以忍受。我们如履薄冰，他会打翻最小的东西，他从不表现出爱，但当他上床期待做爱时，他会叫醒我……如果我假装睡着了，他就会把我推开。他控制着一切，四年前的一天，他开始虐待我，他拉着我的胳膊在房间里走，推着我，按在我身上，告诉我要听他的。他用了足够的力量留下瘀伤。
他似乎从未感到懊悔，当我为此感到不安时，他会说“我没有打你”，好像他的行为是正常的。我们分手了，他突然离婚了，似乎对他在婚姻中对待我的方式感到懊悔。一年后，我们试图建立一种关系。他已经变了，但我还是放不下。任何争论我都准备好为自己辩护。他刮胡子了，我讨厌他的脸，因为他看起来像那个对我不好的人，这引发了我的战斗或逃跑模式(我知道他很笨，但他已经有一段时间留胡子了)。我再也不想和他在一起感到软弱了。我也不喜欢和他做爱，因为感觉他对我有力量，我讨厌它。
我想我以上的理由足以让我放弃了。但要永远结束太难了。我想这不是我和我的三个孩子想要的生活。我想要一段幸福的婚姻，但我离那还远着呢。我们经历了“还好”的周期，但我的生活充满了触发因素，我不喜欢他:(

我曾处于一段情感上(有时是身体上)极度虐待的关系中。这个人会挑起这些可怕的争斗。我一直不知道他们是从哪里来的。如果我有反应，他会说是我先挑起的。他拒绝承认他对我做了什么，我觉得我疯了。他在玩弄我，掠夺我。

两年半后，我离开了一段虐待我的感情。我终于受够了!他最后一次把手放在我身上，抽了血;不管是意外还是故意的，我都不需要道歉!事实上，事情发生后，他就站在我面前，什么也没说——什么也没说!在过去的两年里，他破坏了我的很多东西，我只是不愿意相信他是一个怪物;我告诉自己，不，不是他。但他现在是，过去是。他完全符合自恋的性格特征，拒绝寻求帮助，完全否认自己做错了任何事。虽然他从来没有欺骗过我，当涉及到管理家庭(某种程度上)，他是负责任的，偶尔送我花和其他礼物，他有一个非常非常坏的脾气; he says he was not jealous or insecure BUT he was! i was always accused of "flirting online" then eventually because he wasn't getting it as much as HE wanted, i was accused of saving it for someone else, then CHEATING! he had a sneaky way about him; he somehow hacked into my fb and was reading messages in my inbox and said i was talking bad about him to any bitch that gave me 2 seconds of attention. i tried working outside the home, that was a problem. the jobs i had were early morning and if i tried to go to bed early and he wanted some, he would fight with me saying i was denying him, not pleasing him, not attracted to him; during 1 incident and this should have been the first & last time i should have LEFT, we were arguing and he poured beer over my head, did not let me sleep in the room with him and told me i disgust him. (lucky we had another bedroom). i got up the next morning to take a shower in the 2nd bathroom and he flew in, turned off the water and WOULD NOT LET ME TAKE A SHOWER! i told him i cannot go into work smelling like beer and he said I DONT CARE, YOU'RE NOT TAKING A SHOWER. i cried all day at work, i could've went home but since that was some time to be away from him i didn't. i have so many horrible, painful memories of how he treated me, even after i left! the names he called me, and is still calling me. he's 34 and is acting like a 4 year old. i have accepted im not going to get any heartfelt apology. its been over 3 months since i left; he stalks my fb page and gets mad about what i post; its my effin page i shouldn't have to worry what pisses him off but if he reads something he doesn't like, i get a nasty message; i am planning to move on my own in a few months and he told me WE BOTH KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE, assuming i've been with other people here. he called me 1 morning and i didnt answer because i was in tears at the nasty messages he was sending and he says YOU MUST STILL BE AT HIS HOUSE HO...i was driving in my car from a grocery store! i'm 44 i don't have for games and i am not even looking for anyone else after what i went thru. i am just enjoying taking care of myself; getting my nails done which he got pissed off about that! i get massages every 2 weeks, i bought myself a car and all of this, he sent me messages calling me na mes, how i didn't do any of this for HIM and i must be doing it for someone else; if i post something about going to the gym he says NOW YOU'RE GOING ALL FULL FORCE TO GET YOURSELF SEXY FOR SOMEONE ELSE, smh. i have cried to him how hurt i am, how i am heartbroken and devestated; i asked him if he wanted to make it work and he flat out told me WITHOUT ANY HESITATION "I DON'T WANT TO WORK IT OUT". but yet, i get accused of things he's making up in his head, to fuel his anger and rage! when i ask to see him he tells me no because that will only confuse the feelings more. he is seriously so caught up in the past AND will not own up that the reason i left was because HE IS ABUSIVE; and he has a history of it, others before me! he had his chance to get right but no, its just more anger and name calling (he's called me EVERY name there is, including a FATASS!) i did so much for him, for his son that he gives me NO credit for and thats fine, he doesn't have to; but at the same time LOVES to throw in my face what he did for me, smh. well, i just needed to vent, i know i did the right thing for me because he was very capable of hurting me worse; my heart aches sometimes and im so heartbroken because i was so committed to him but i don't know who he turned into.