家庭暴力受害者认为他们是施虐者

我仍然有很多精神混浊不清是否我虐待和施虐者。我想也许我是两个。有时事情就变得有毒,一起创建更糟糕的版本。我很难去接受,因为我爱的人那么多。的想法我可能使他最差的一面是痛苦的,但它可能是真的。我需要学会爱自己更好,我希望我能因为如果不是那么我会继续让人们利用,认为这是好的。离开我精神的人建立了一个很错误的想法未来8年来最令人心碎的我面临着失去某人死亡的异常。这是相同的但我想。祝我好运和力量,我需要两个。

我想如果你可以联系我407-529-7560我在一个非常低的地方,有那么多的问题…不太担心我的电话号码吗?但这是最有效的文章我读了因为它听起来很像我和困惑我不知道如果我施虐者或实际上发生了什么事?谢谢

12年前我是3岁到我从我的第一任妻子离婚。我没有寻找任何和这个女孩落在我的大腿上,我被离岸金融中心我的脚。没有人让我感觉如此特殊和独特的b4。大约3岁在我们开始使用药物和怀上第一个孩子和我们清理,1年之后我们把我们伟大的侄子家里,后来收养了这个小男孩是一个毒品宝贝,妈妈吓唬整个怀孕。压力和常数医生和专家预约开车我们使用又一度她在我背后去了另一个男性药物,我自然以为这是更多的伤害我走出来后,我才发现她没有作弊,但此时已经太晚了。我们发现后不久怀着num 2和我们都走了,冷火鸡并一直保持了一年此时就自作主张把药物回我们的家和我不够男人说不。3岁半的线条模糊,她的不安全感使她精神上和emiyiinaly虐待,最后伤得很深,有一天我突然断裂,失去了控制自己并拖动,内疚像沉重的锁链,但她继续推动和prode意图伤害和力反应,这样她就可以扮演受害者的角色。此时我再也不能告诉什么是真的,什么不是或如果我她说我和她的一切都是骗自己,我想要的是b ok并保存我的家人

谢谢你这。我真的在这一段时间。这对我来说是非常混乱。我有创伤后应激障碍,但是当我回顾每一个关系,引导我所有我看到的是多少次的问题……即使他们做错了什么事,对我来说,这警告我错过了,我不应该。但我一直在努力解决问题。尽管可能2虐待关系(我的治疗师告诉我他们虐待,但我仍然很难忽视我所做的)的关系我真的在现在实际上是一个友谊的一个女孩名叫艾米丽。我刚开始接受,她告诉我,她会杀了如果我不为她做她的家务和其他东西,不断羞辱我的残疾(我也学习障碍)虐待多年之后我的治疗师几乎颤抖的我告诉我那不是正常的友谊,不可以原谅的。我们没有朋友2年了,我想我终于接受了她是一个虐待的朋友当我得知她去了一个身有残疾的人的葬礼我曾经知道,她的鼻子,笑他,他所有的朋友。这是她说他曾试图袭击后……但事实证明,当她说这事他处于昏迷状态。 It took her victimizing someone else to really get it. But I recently learned she is now a disability rights and anti-abuse advocate in Toronto. And a part of me wants to ask her why she did those things. And a part of me knows there's no point, she thinks anything she does is right and if you tell her otherwise you're in the wrong for hurting her self esteem by sticking up for yourself. In her mind she's always the victim. Once her family came in and helped her move in, and she was the victim cause they didn't do enough for her...that's who she is. But a part of me is like "what if I'm wrong, what if she's changed? What if I just misunderstood everything and I'm the bad friend? Sure, she broke my boundaries out of boardom (not concern for me or mistake, boardom) then insulted them as not being "good enough" for her and demeaned me, but what if that's cause they were stupid boundaries? What if, what if, what if? But a part of me is also mad, and wants the world to know that this person who says she's such an advocate once flat out told me she didn't feel she could be friends with me because I had a mental illness and was too much of a burden and a downer on her (after I'd risked my job to come and see her and she told me she'd kill herself if I didn't). I want people to know I couldn't socialize or talk to friends for almost a year after because it was so emotionally damaging. I want people to know that I stopped talking to her in person because I was afraid of her. On one hand I want her to be ok and hope she's better, but on the other I want someone to point out what she's like cause I don't want her to be able to do this again. But I don't know maybe I am abusive then. Its all very confusing

我不知道想什么了。四年前当我们第一次开始约会,我非常是受害者。我更认同受害者名单,总是尝试,我怕他和我自己。但后来我厉声说。我决定不关心它了,现在我更认同比任何的列表。他已经好多了在约束自己,但我觉得我做出了错误的选择,现在我困。我不想离开他(的原因),我知道他爱我。另一方面我很不开心但我现在觉得更因为我是一个懒惰,没有动力的人不会帮助自己因为我忍受的虐待为2.5年。虽然我总是合理化。我可以看到我想要的人,但我从未有过的自信和自尊在我自己的,我觉得现在我只是欺骗自己我可以使自己感觉更好,当事实上我是个可怕的人,就应该让他不管他什么感觉对我所以我不伤害他了。

我不认为有一个动荡的关系,双方站起来为自己必然是一个虐待关系。虐待发生更当厄恩人拥有或或试图获得权力,使用这种力量控制。也许你正在经历的是愤怒的问题,沟通问题和你第一次经历的与别人不同。但是你的伴侣有不可剥夺的权利选择不呆,解决问题。你可以问他们,但试图改变她违背自己的意愿可能构成滥用。你能做的就是对自己工作。尊重他们的权利选择走开,没有不好的感觉,你不再是一个虐待的情况。

我觉得我遇到了我一生的挚爱我们的第一次约会让我们在1月旋风路径。我们开始约会她精神和情感经历一个艰难的时间,我试过但发现我们进入辩论结局,提高了声音,切断了电话。我除了我自己,因为我从来没有经历过这么多与别人发生冲突,太多的误解。我们继续日期和爱了. .由于辩论结局和冲突升级我在捍卫自己成为施虐者。这是情感,精神和身体。我们有太多争吵,我感觉与她,但深深地爱着她。我有一个非常艰难的一年,我觉得我的心理健康恶化,我决定跟我分手的女孩,我真的想要一个更好的人。被滥用或为自己施虐者并不是我想要的。她不是一直欢迎咨询所以我必须自己工作。 I do have hope I do want be with her but I want to be right. I want her to be right too. I’m processing my role in everything so I can heal but I want her to heal too..

我看这个,因为一开始我的关系,我的丈夫是完美的说所有正确的事情答应我世界。几个月后他开始发火了。他想要为我的孩子严格和不合理的规则。当我问这些规则或不同意他的行为他非常生气,大声的在家里或关闭口头而大发雷霆。当他心情不好时确保每个人都知道它。在过去的一年里它已经升级。他开始嫉妒所花费的时间与我的孩子们将开始打架的事小,但总是在相同的条件下。雷竞技到底好不好用如果不是他的计划或他不参与,他会找到一种方式让我们觉得我们有做错事情的时候。我有青少年自然我们有分歧。他是超级爸爸当我的孩子更遥远。 When my relationships with my kids couldn't be better he picks at the kids and is flat out mean to them. He has always suddenly become ill in situations where he is not the center of attention. I don't know what is real or not. Just recently after he cornered me in a room I locked myself in to hide from him in, and shut off my phone service so I couldn't call out. I threatened to call the cops and he finally left. He had been to the point where he was always checking up on me, getting angry when I was running errands too long and against me getting a job. I had enough and kicked him out and he went to the ER claiming a suicide attempt I let him come back and after a few days he wanted to act like everything is okay. For months I have told him I need time and we have work to do. He is pushy not giving me my space and snapping at my kids. He ruined a great evening last night and for no real reason. He threatens to take our only car away, shut off my kid's cell phone because they have had enough and are standing up for themselves. He has started say he acts certain ways because he is trying and I am hateful. Today's example was he claimed I sent him a text saying I had said something awful to him. I began to question myself. I went through over a month of texts and no I never said it. But I noticed how angry my replies to him have been. My language is horrible, I am either begging for space and understanding (my kids and I have suffered several tragedies in the last two months) . I have asked for a separation, or a "roommate" like situation until we are financially stable. He refuses and pretends all is good after a couple of days of him playing nice. Then he gets angry when I am not comfortable being intimate. I am almost certain he hid some of my meds I desperately needed. My daughter and I both looked where they are usually kept. He magically found them and was my "rescuer". I feel like I am losing my mind I am paranoid and constantly on edge!!! Between the fact that I HAVE become so angry and distant, paranoid, sucked into mind games and the fact that this would be my 3rd abusive relationship (are the odds of that happening real)? Am I the problem, have I become the abuser? I am questioning whether I am standing up for myself and my kids or if I have become abusive. I am sorry this is so long I am just lost and don't know what to do...,

没有办法或我!我试着从我的婚姻。但我不能。我没有朋友或家人。我所有的家人已经过去了。没有人帮助我。我慢慢地试图控制自己的财务状况,但我还是不赚到足够的钱来获得启动成本。我46岁,我每周工作5 - 6天。没有住房,我可以没有人想要一个室友。甚至一个营地太该死的昂贵。 I don't see any way out. I'm slowly dying inside. The hours I work don't allow me a 2nd job. I need to sleep sometime. Don't tell me to get a 2nd job or a better paying job because where I live there's none. I've called domestic abuse places, my life is not endanger and I can't prove mental and verbal abuse, and social services. No one wants to guide me or help. I'm alone. What does someone do in my situation?

我在46年的婚姻,永远不会太迟开始进入一个支持小组帮助我,我知道我不能回去,多年来我失去了但我知道我可以前进,帮助年轻人看到虐待和处理之前,需要那么多的你的生活。

我在46年的婚姻,永远不会太迟开始进入一个支持小组帮助我,我知道我不能回去,多年来我失去了但我知道我可以前进,帮助年轻人看到虐待和处理之前,需要那么多的你的生活。

我已经结婚27年了。我已经口头和精神虐待多数的婚姻。在过去的几年中,我已经开始反击。现在我已经成为了施虐者。我不喜欢被施虐者……不是我的性格。我期待着旅行回到我原来的人。感谢大家的分享。

这对我来说是一个良好的阅读。我得看看这本书。我和我的丈夫现在在同一个位置。他是谩骂,但我没有意识到,直到我们一年婚姻,这就是它。我很年轻和天真。我们现在离婚4年,我一直在考虑过去2,但我一直太害怕经历之后将会发生什么。我开始怀疑我是施虐者,我自己。我绝对适合一些标准的列表。但是我意识到我不喜欢,直到我和我丈夫的关系的开始。
我已经在我自己的,我与我的丈夫分居期间,对自己工作了。甚至通过所有这一切,他虐待行为继续下去。已经2个星期,我发现任何希望重振婚姻很快溜走。我的孤独感觉比他的公司。
世界上所有的爱不能解决虐待关系如果一方或双方不能在一种健康的方式表达出来。我学到的一个教训。

是的,我经历了非常相同的学习过程。在相同的顺序我认为相同的步骤!这不是得益于这样一个事实,即滥用通常包括指责对方他们不做什么,但施虐者。过去我们处处‘讨论’,我很困惑当他提到的事情我没有记忆,和他会说我是说谎或痛苦和错误记忆,换句话说发明过去无论是故意还是无意。
这种救济明白他做确切的说是这样的- - -我还没有制定出他是否知道它(躺)(错觉),但我已经不再去试图理解为什么他的行为,我只是把它当作坏天气现在如果你能看到它的到来你不质疑它发生,但你关上了窗户,把花园家具里面当暴风雨要来了。,)

你的故事非常类似于我的。我也不得不放弃婚姻年前。我走到这一步,我担心感情会走向身体虐待和辱骂。因为这件事已经有很长时间,我已经搬到很远的地方,开始结束了,但我还是害怕。感觉PTSD症状和似乎无法继续前进。我想要迫切了。任何想法和帮助将不胜感激。谢谢你！

能与这篇文章,我对我的行为感到内疚都已知和未知但我原谅我自己,因为我是在回应并试图保护自己远离真正的施虐者。阻止自己成为施虐者的唯一方法是图纸,尽快离开虐待关系成为一个更好的你即工作在你自己的弱点。你呆的时间越长,越有可能你开始镜像彼此的行为。在伊斯兰教穆罕默德言行录(先知的建议),说类似“女人(妻子)是反映了男人(丈夫)”即如果你有虐待行为的丈夫,妻子会做出反应,因此在恐惧或报复的行为,如果一个丈夫是爱和善良等妻子就会做出相应的反应与爱,服从和尊重。

OMG这就是我现在经历!我需要这本书……我打了我的妻子,因为她不会停止指责我……不让我走开……她崩溃了她的妈妈死后,她的药物尚未对....我离开,我愿意与她在咨询,但我还需要拿回我的生活…我和控制....高兴我不是唯一一个....